Coaching and the GROW Model

Biggest misconceptions I find in business is coaching vs mentor. Most are unaware about how coaching really works. If you thought you know what coaching is and your not 100% sure here a nice little introduction to the GROW method.

RSA ANIMATE: Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us

WOW Some insightful stuff on motivation. Thoughts?

4 Basic Tips on How to Improve Your Communication Skills

Effective communication can be difficult for many of us. Too eager and you’ll risk trampling over the other person’s thoughts, too passive and you’ll come away from the conversation frustrated that you hadn’t said what you’d intended. These issues can become even more complex as a creative, where we’re often more comfortable with visual, rather than verbal, communication.

But don’t assume that your “art speaks for itself” and that successful creatives don’t need to be bothered with articulating their creative vision. Actually, it’s just the opposite. As the creator, it’s imperative that you learn how to communicate effectively. Remember, you should always be the biggest advocate for your own work and lacking in communication skills only risks misunderstandings—and missed opportunities.

Many creatives can be introverts by nature—for every gregarious studio photographer, there is someone who takes solace in shooting their street photography alone at night—but don’t let this stop you. Pushing past your fears and understanding how you can still be yourself, yet speak effectively about your work, is the first step in using communication to further your career.

How to begin? A good starting place is to write your artist statement—luckily we have a handy guide—as the questions you’ll answer here will help form the foundation of your verbal communication. Once you have that done, let’s go over some useful tips to help you speak about your creative abilities in order to grab your next big collector or client.

Aren't sure how to effectively communicate your creativity? Here are some tips to help you hone your communication skills.

PRACTICE YOUR ELEVATOR PITCH

Many times, it’s easy to assume that people will understand your artistic vision. But, if you are not able to clearly, succinctly, and quickly clarify what you do and why it matters, you cannot expect other people to always get it.

That’s where an elevator pitch comes in. While this concept comes from the business world, there’s no reason why it doesn’t apply to creatives. This short, 30- to 60-second speech is a sales pitch, essentially selling the how and why of what you do. For a creative, think about the potential client, collector, or gallerist you may meet at an event. As you’re networking, you’ll want to have this pitch down. Sell yourself! Get people hooked and give them a reason to want to see more of what you do.

When developing your own elevator pitch, it will be important to understand your nicheand who your target audience is, as well as how your work fits into that niche. Do you use interesting materials or have you developed a cutting-edge technique? That should be in there.

You’ll also want to think about who you are speaking with. Bump into an important curator? They may be interested to know about your work with museums. Meet the head of a marketing department for a large brand? Let them know about the graphic design work you recently did with a like-minded company.

And make sure you finish by closing the deal, whether it be getting a business card or phone number or setting up a time to meet and discuss your work over coffee. Remember, you only have a minute, so don’t try to cram too much in. Just tease the best points and make them want to come back for more.

EXUDE CONFIDENCE

We’re talking about confidence, not arrogance—there’s a fine line, but important distinction. While arrogance can be off-putting, confidence actually draws people in and makes them want to hear more.

And while everyone has a different way of exuding confidence, here are some things to keep in mind so that even if you are feeling uncomfortable, no one will ever know.

Body language – Throw out the idea of the brooding artist hunched in the corner. That stereotype is exactly the opposite of what you’ll need to effectively communicate about your work. You want to be approachable and this means having open body language. That means standing up straight, keeping your arms uncrossed, and even leaning in slightly to let the other person know you are interested in what they are saying.

Eye contact – Along with your limbs, watch your eyes—and put your phone down. Looking down or away indicates insecurity and lack of knowledge about what you are discussing, or worse—a disinterest in the person you are speaking with. A great communicator will look the person, or people, they are speaking to right in the eye, which gives off the impression that you know what you are talking about and are confident in your words. And when it comes to your art, isn’t that what you want?

Filler words – If “umm” or “like” peppers your speech, pay close attention to this section. While you want to be thoughtful with your words, overly long pauses or peppering your conversion with these filler words makes you come off as unprepared. This is why preparing—either mentally or on paper—ahead of time can help. Of course, you don’t want to come off as scripted, but having a basic preparation will allow you to think without pause even if you are nervous.

KNOW WHEN TO LISTEN

Effective communication is like a tennis match, with the ball being lobbed back and forth. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is monopolizing the conversation. Yes, people may be at the opening of your exhibition or approached you about your portfolio, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to be heard and be part of the conversation.

Everyone wants to feel important, including fans of your creative work, and by listening to what they have to say, you are forging deeper relationships which could pay dividends down the line. And remember, listening isn’t simply not talking, it’s actually taking in what the other person is saying. Try incorporating what they’ve talked about into your comments and questions, which will show them you have an interest in their perspective as well. Believe us, your top collector will appreciate it when you remember the name of their children or you suggest a book about their favorite sculptor.

EVERYONE IS EQUAL

Everyone can have a bad day, but in general, there’s no excuse not to treat everyone with equal kindness. You never know how the person in front of you can impact your career or who might overhear your conversation. So, it goes without saying that no matter you are speaking with, show respect and use it as an opportunity to improve your communication skills and how you articulate your work.

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Low on Motivation? 7 Psychological Hacks to Get Going

Even the most passionate and motivated among us have off days. We wake up feeling detached from work, or groggy, frustrated or depressed, and we can’t get into the right mindset to be productive. We might be able to go through the motions of work, but we aren’t operating at peak efficiency, nor are we enjoying what we're doing.

Is this you? Thankfully, even on your worst days, there are some psychological tricks you can use to hack your mind to become more motivated:

1. Visualize your long-term goals.

Research from the University of Virginia suggests that visualizing your potential future is highly motivating, even if that future is distant. Though we tend to perform our best and achieve the best outcomes when we optimize our work and focus for long-term performance, our minds are wired for short-term focus and goals. So, instead of zooming in on one task or project, think about your long-term goals, and work backward to visualize how these small steps will lead to that eventuality. Visualizing should super-charge your focus.

Long-term thinking is what Jeff Bezos used to make Amazon the tech powerhouse it is today. Since 1997, his manifesto has been “It’s all about the long term,” a kind of proactive warning to shareholders that the company is willing to sacrifice short-term revenue if that means higher long-term gains.

2. At least start your task.

One of the hardest parts of any task, especially a challenging one, is actually getting started. Once you’re in the middle of something, it’s much easier to keep that momentum going. To overcome this initial hurdle, commit yourself to at least starting your task;you can always tell yourself that you can abandon it after five good minutes of actual work.

By the time those five minutes are up, you might already be so into the project that you’ll naturally want to carry that momentum forward. So, start! The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll achieve that flow. This charge may seem intimidating or difficult if the task is beyond your usual scope, but in the words of former Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer, “I always did something I was a little not ready to do. I think that's how you grow. When there's that moment of 'Wow, I'm not really sure I can do this,' and you push through those moments, that's when you have a breakthrough.”

3. Set a timer.

You can also motivate yourself by setting a timer,forcing yourself to work for a fixed amount of time and putting a break on the schedule for the near future. This simultaneously puts a limit on how much effort you’ll need to expend and gives you something to look forward to -- a break.Studies show that the “average” optimal time for this work-break split entails working for 52 minutes and breaking for 17, but you’ll likely need some adjustments to make the pattern work for you. For example, Tony Schwartz (president of the Energy Project) takes a break every 90 minutes, since he says his alertness tends to drop off after those 90 minutes are up.

4. Tell someone what you plan to do.

Social pressure can influence your personal motivation fairly strongly. If you have a big project to do, or a major goal for the day, tell someone close to you (such as a friend, family member or even a colleague) what you intend to accomplish. Knowing you’ll need to eventually report back to that person, you’ll feel extra pressure to do what you said you were going to

If you want even more pressure, consider broadcasting your goal to a whole group of people, such as the entire office. Ray Wu, cofounder of Weilos, used that online weight-loss community's platform to measure this effect. The result: Participants who actively shared their goals and progress ended up losing 1.2 pounds per week, compared to just 0.27 pounds per week among dieters not using the platform.

5. Change your "self-talk."

A comprehensive review of 47 different studies reported in the Journal of Sports Exercise Psychology confirmed the effects of positive and negative "self-talk" -- that running internal dialogue most of us experience throughout the day. Essentially, positive self-talk leads to higher motivation, better self-esteem and an elevated mood, while negative self-talk leads to the opposite.

If you find yourself saying or thinking things like “This is too much,” or “I’m stressed out of my mind,” try rephrasing those comments to things like, “This is an exciting challenge,” or “I’m going to feel great when I’m done with this.” Sometimes, a simple mental change is all it takes to radically transform your perspective.

6. Keep a task list.

Start keeping a list of tasks to do, and write down everything -- even small, minutes-long tasks throughout your day. Whenever you get something done, cross it off the list or put a check mark next to it. This will help you stay organized but, more importantly, will give you a boost of motivation every time you cross something off.

In the words of April Underwood, vice president of product at Slack, “Have a clear system for to-dos: whether it’s ‘Getting Things Done’ or the ‘Checklist Manifesto,’ just have a system and stick to it." Continued Underwood: "I have a very specific method I use in Slack and in email that works for me, and knowing I have that system keeps me from feeling overwhelmed even when I’m behind or the to-dos pile up.”

By keeping a task list, you too will be able to tangibly mark your progress, and you’ll feel better about what you’ve already achieved. You’ll also get to visualize your progress over time, which can help you keep going when you hit a wall.

7. Establish consequences.

Though reward-based systems often work better for teaching people new things, our instinct to avert loss motivates us to accomplish a goal when there are consequences for not accomplishing it. For example, in one experiment, teachers were split into two groups: one group was offered a $4,000 bonus if their students’ grades improved, and another group was actually given the $4,000, along with the threat that they would have to return the money if grades didn’t improve. Those consequences led the latter group to perform better over the semester.

So, if you want to get more things done, establish your own consequences for not getting them done.

If you find yourself chronically low on motivation and this happens relatively frequently -- say, more than once or twice a week -- consider this a sign of a bigger problem in your daily work life. You might be dealing with too much stress (without an outlet to relieve it), or you might be heading toward burnout.

Jayson DeMers • VIP Contributor

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The Power of Motivation: Crash Course Psychology #17

WOW he wasnt joking when he said crash course lol ! I'd be surprised he didn't pass out after this video I'm not sure he took a breath lol!

This is Why You Don't SUCCEED - One of the Best Motivational Speeches Ever

Very insightful! Comment if you check your phone in the middle of the night lol.

The psychology of self-motivation | Scott Geller | TEDxVirginiaTech

Quite funny as well. Very interesting have a look.

The New 1-2-3 Goal-Setting Routine

People who set goals are more successful in life than those who don’t. Research proves it time and time again.

But here’s the thing: People who enjoy moderate success set LOTS of goals. And while they may achieve several of those goals, they struggle to define the ones the matter MOST to them. The end result? They don’t have a system in place of prioritizing their BIGGEST, life-changing goals.

That’s why nine out of 10 people fail to keep their New Year’s resolutions.

If that sounds a little bit like you, don’t worry.

I’m going to teach you the solution to this too-many-goal problem. And together, we’re going to turn your moderate success into an amazing year.

How, you ask? With my 1-2-3 Goal-Setting Routine.

Here’s how it works (and I’ll start with resolutions, since 2018 is already upon us):

For some people, “resolutions” is a dirty word. But when you stick to them, they can change the trajectory of your life forever.

Resolutions (goals) have always been a big part of my work and personal growth, and they’ve helped inform my professional endeavors. For 20 years, my fitness businesses have helped millions of people set goals, change habits, and transform their bodies.

However, most people go about setting goals all wrong.

This was something I struggled with until my early 30s. That’s when my mentor, Mark Ford, taught me to replace my “shotgun-scattered” approach with laser-focused planning.

In 2006, when I was 31 years old, I sat at my parent’s kitchen table prior to a New Year’s Eve party, writing out my goals for the next year.

At the end of my session, I had dozens of (minor) goals on a page in 10-point font. The next year, I achieved minor success in several areas but didn’t hit the major objectives that would have significantly altered my life for the better.

That’s when I asked Mark Ford for advice. He taught me to focus on just one goal for each of the four big areas in life—health, wealth, social self, and personal enrichment.

His advice was incredibly impactful. It freed me to write my book, start a business in a new industry, and, when I paid it forward, allowed my coaching clients to achieve 12-month goals in only 90 days.

Using the wisdom of Mark Ford as the foundation, I created the 1-2-3 Goal-Setting System. It starts by picking a 90-day deadline alongside one outcome goal for each of two areas of your life (one personal, one professional), and outlining three major actions steps for each outcome goal.

I’ll bet you’re asking, “Why does this minimal approach work better than resolutions?”

Imagine waking up on New Year’s Day and saying, “I want to lose 10 pounds,” or “I want to make an extra million dollars.” That’s nice. But there’s no plan, no path, no focus, and no urgency. Your dream won’t come true.

The 1-2-3 Goal-Setting Formula fixes that.

I’ve received many questions over the years about this formula, so I’ll beat you to the punch and answer them now:

Why a 90-day deadline?

In my book, “The Perfect Day Formula,” I outline five pillars of success that take you from planning to measurable results. The fifth pillar is what the 1-2-3 Goal-Setting Formula really takes advantage of: the BIG deadline.

Deadlines turn the abstract into the concrete, spur us to action, keep us going through tough times, and move faster toward the finish line.

That’s why we use a 90-day deadline in the 1-2-3 Goal Setting Routine. It’s not actually dissimilar to quarterly planning sessions for business sales—and many entrepreneurs and CEOs have enjoyed financial success setting up internal deadlines for their own growth and development.

You should enjoy the same kind of success.

What exactly is an outcome goal? And why is there only one of them?

An outcome goal is a numbers-based objective—like losing 10 pounds or making $1 million. It’s more specific than “losing weight” or “getting rich.”

I limit it to just one outcome goal because I want you to be singularly focused on the goal that has the most significant impact on your life. Think of the outcome goal as the bullseye on the target. If you hit the bullseye, it’s worth more than hitting the outside ring 10 times.

Ok, but why should I focus on just two major areas of my life?

This is where I’ve upgraded the system from what Mark Ford taught me 10 years ago.

Four goals are better than 20, but even then, the waters get a little muddy.

For the next 90 days, you are just going to focus on two major goals—one personal, one professional. That’s it. That’s extreme focus, and a clear path to success.

The great thing is, when you achieve major goals, pretty much every other area of your life improves. Plus, you open up more time and energy for other goals in your next 90-day sprint.

And process goals? What are those, and why three of them?

We need to use process goals because there is a serious FLAW in only setting outcome goals.

Let me explain. A good friend of mine, Alwyn Cosgrove, taught me that we do not control our outcome goals. There are always external circumstances influencing the final outcome. We might lose nine pounds instead of 10, or we might make $900K instead of an extra million. The final outcome is never fully within our control.

However, Alwyn added, what you DO control are the action steps that move you in the direction of your outcome goal. We control our weight loss efforts—our diet, our exercise, our sleep, and our water intake. We control our revenue-generating activities—setting up lead-generation systems, practicing our sales scripts, doing follow-up, and asking for referrals. If we do our best with our action steps (process goals), we’ll get as close as possible to our outcome goals.

So there you have it—a concrete, effective alternative to failure-assured resolutions. One outcome goal for each of two areas of your life—one professional and one personal—and three action steps for each outcome goal.

And let me allay your fears; this isn’t some fly-by-night methodology I cooked up to get clicks, either. My coaching clients have been using the 1-2-3 Goal-Setting System for years. Some have doubled their income, others have achieved massive fitness goals, and still others have landed in happy, longterm relationships that they were seeking for years.

So I urge you to start 2018 on the right foot and build out your own 1-2-3 Goal-Setting System. You can do anything for 90 days—and you may just change your life.

Craig Ballantyne, Contributor

Writer, Coach, Entrepreneur

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This Book Will Make You Ready To Be An Entrepreneur

Making mistakes as you go into business is a part of every entrepreneur's experience. How you recover from these errors is what matters. The process of getting back on course can make your business stronger, especially if you learn from your mistakes.

Getting distracted or disregarding sage advice, for instance, can leave you in a hole, as can not properly preparing for the bumps in the road. You need confidence in order to keep moving forward, while at the same time cannot be so confident that you blind yourself to problems. As a result, doing research and listening to your market, as well as understanding your niche, is crucial.

To help you avoid trouble, 13 members of Young Entrepreneur Council, below, shared the biggest mistake they made as a new entrepreneur in hopes that they can save you from making the same error. Here is what they said to avoid:

1. Disregarding Other Business People’s Advice

One of the biggest mistakes I've made was minimizing the advice of elder business people because I dismissed it as "outdated" or "irrelevant." Technical knowledge in one’s field is absolutely necessary, and although things may be extremely different today than they were 20-30 years ago, knowledge is knowledge. - Christopher Okada, Okada & Company LLC

 2. Getting Distracted

One of the biggest mistakes I've made as an entrepreneur was spending time on things that were distracting me from moving my business forward. T-shirts and business cards in the early days were fun, but they got me absolutely nowhere closer to finding customers or creating real enterprise value. Focus on what matters: creating products or offering services that people want and actually pay for. - Michael Lisovetsky, Juice Labs, LLC

3. Misallocating Your Funds

Raising money is hard. I spent my first round of funding too quickly. I was overconfident that my app was going to take off right away because I was so blindly optimistic. I believed in what I was doing so much, I didn't foresee failure early on. My advice to entrepreneurs is to plan for unexpected bumps in the road, so you are better prepared for the success that lies ahead. - Steven Fleisher, Two Degrees, Inc.

4. Failing to Truly Understand Your Business

Know your business model from the very start. Establish your price and have a crystal-clear understanding of your unit economics: cost of goods, marketing expenses and margins. It's extremely difficult to increase your product prices without losing customers. It can make or break your business. - Liza Moiseeva, GlobeIn

5. Doing It All by Yourself

The biggest mistake I have ever made is to think I can do it all by myself. We need to delegate, and when possible, we need to hire professionals in each field to help you succeed. - Esteban Kadamani, INFINITE WINDOWS LLC

 6. Letting Others Bring You Down

My biggest mistake was not trusting in my abilities sooner. As a Latina female, I was discouraged to pursue my entrepreneurial endeavors by media, bosses, co-workers and at times, even friends. One boss even went so far to say, “You should focus first on having a family.” If you are a female, and especially if you are a minority, you have to cut out the noise and trust that yes, you’ve got this! - Christina Kelmon, Belle en Argent

 7. Not Being Prepared For Things To Go Wrong

You always have to plan for things to go wrong, because they will! The only thing that stays consistent is your dedication to the end result. But everything else, be prepared for it to go a little — or a lot — differently than expected. Be resilient. - Jacoby Ihejirika, PASS Program, Inc

8. Not Trusting Yourself

The biggest mistake I ever made as an entrepreneur is not trusting myself earlier on in my career. I wish, desperately, that I started my companies in my early 20s. In the modern world, starting a business and validating an idea is easier than ever, so take advantage of it. - Gaurav Valani, CareerSprout

9. Understanding All Aspects of Your Niche

When I left investment banking to launch my first startup, the App Store had only launched two years prior. At this time, I had limited, early-stage company experience, and quickly learned that tech development was a completely different world. My company failed because I didn't understand the app dev process. You need to know all aspects of a business, especially those in which you are weak. - Justin Casale-Savage, Savage Advisory

10. Taking Criticism Personally

A startup feels like a founder's baby. I would take every setback or criticism personally and react poorly. Companies are not babies or people. Most startups die … but from failure comes future success. My advice to a newbie is that they need to strike a balance between their passion and business reality — take criticism and failure in stride, and stay humble. - Amishi Takalkar, NAILBITER Inc

11. Thinking Your Idea Is Perfect

I assumed that my idea and business plan were perfect, and that customers and employees would be banging down my door to work with me. Instead, the market dealt me a big serving of humble pie. I made four major pivots in three years, until we finally got the model and messaging right. The lesson: Be flexible, be open and listen to what the market is telling you. - Daniel Reilly, B2X Global

 12. Doing What Looks Good Instead of What Works

I cold called and followed up with a company for five months until they gave me an opportunity. The day I presented how my services could benefit them, I blew it. How? Because I didn't prepare as I typically do. When you have a major opportunity, keep doing what put you in that position to begin with. Oh yeah, and never blow a six-figure deal like I did, by doing what looked good, instead of what works. - Daniel Griggs, ATX Web Designs, LLC

13. Focusing too Much on Your Team’s Existing Skills

In the early years, I focused too heavily on existing skill sets when building our team. This didn't always work out, as some of our early hires had the skills but didn't have "star potential," they were capped out. I now look more for the skills, but even more so for people who have "star potential" and can develop into the leaders of our company, and even take my job one day. This drives scalability. - Grayson Lafrenz, Power Digital Marketing

POST WRITTEN BY

Young Entrepreneur Council

  YEC is an invite-only organization comprised of the world's most successful entrepreneurs 40 and younger.

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MORNING MOTIVATION - Motivational Video for Success in Life - Tony Robbi...

Love this piece by Tony. Most businesses are focused heavily on hard skills sets which are important however mindsets and your ability to deal with people far outweigh in importance when it come to success.

Richard Branson: Advice for Entrepreneurs

Advice from one of the greats! Might be just you needed to hear before you start making those new year resolutions!

The Power of belief -- mindset and success | Eduardo Briceno | TEDxManha...

So simple yet so powerful I will be adopting going forward!

4 personality traits that successful entrepreneurs share

When you think of the greatest entrepreneurs in history, a few names likely come to mind: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Henry Ford, just to name a few.

The legacies of these business geniuses can be both inspiring and intimidating. And while they probably had more than a few unique traits that helped drive them to success, there are also several personality traits that they share, along with virtually every other successful entrepreneur. And, lucky for you, these are traits that can usually be cultivated over time, with some careful practice.

Persistence

At the top of the list is persistence. Entrepreneurs face failure again and again, but the thing that separates the successes from the failures is whether or not you allow failures to stop you. Virtually every successful entrepreneur throughout history has faced failures, and they’ve come back again and again until they achieved what they’d set out to do. The ability to dust yourself off and try again is an invaluable trait if you want to be a successful entrepreneur.

Self-Belief

Most entrepreneurs are natural confident. But don’t confuse self-confidence with true self-belief, or what researchers call “task-specific confidence.” This isn’t just a belief that you can get things done. “It’s a belief that turns the risk proposition around—you’ve conducted enough research and have enough confidence that you can get the job done that you ameliorate the risk.”

So for those who are not naturally self-assured, this can be a good thing. Because this type of self-belief is not necessarily ingrained in us from birth. It comes from persistent research and hard work that allows you to feel confident in your business. Once you’ve built up that self-belief, hold onto it, and let it drive you forward through the tough times.

Tolerance for Risk

Successful entrepreneurs are the ones that take risk. It’s for this reason that, contrary to popular belief, most entrepreneurs aren’t Type-A personalities. Type-As don’t tolerate risk well. In fact, most entrepreneurs are C students who aren’t afraid to take the long shot or do something slightly crazy for the chance at a big win.

Entrepreneurs often show their risk-taking habits from an early age. Multi-millionaire and entrepreneur Tai Lopez shared a story that demonstrated his entrepreneurial spirit and willing to take risks at just six years old. He said, “My mom had these cherry tomatoes she would sell. The problem was, nobody really bought the tomatoes. So, I took it upon myself to sell lemonade with sugar instead. In the time I had sold one bag of tomatoes for 25 cents, I was able to sell ten times more with my lemonade stand.”

A Type-A kid would probably have just done what his mom told him to do and continued to try to sell the tomatoes. But Tai saw a chance to make more money, and took a risk when others might have held back. This attitude is a vital trait in a successful entrepreneur.

Curiosity

Entrepreneurs are out-of-the-box thinkers and innovators, as most people know. But what truly drives that kind of innovation is a certain curiosity about the world. One analysis of 23 different studies, entitled The Big Five Personality Dimensions and Entrepreneurial Status, looked at the different traits of entrepreneurs and managers. It found that entrepreneurs tended to rank much higher in the category of “openness to experience,” which was identified as “someone who is intellectually curious and tends to seek new experiences and explore novel ideas.”

This willingness to explore and ask questions is essential to entrepreneurship, because it is questioning the status quo that leads to world-changing innovations. So start asking yourself “what if,” and start wondering how things around you could be changed for the better. You never know what ideas can come from a simple question.

While not everybody who has these traits will be a hugely successful entrepreneur, these are still essential characteristics if you hope to be one of the world’s great innovators in the future.

About Business Matters

Business Matters staff

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Tony Robbins: ONE OF THE BEST SPEECHES EVER (Tony Robbins 2017)

You cant listen to Tony and not be motivated to take action!

DEALING WITH ‘DIFFICULT’ PEOPLE AT WORK

We’ve all encountered ‘difficult’ people in the workplace. Whether it’s a boss, a colleague or a subordinate, it’s challenging working in close quarters with someone whose personality or approach to work doesn’t always gel with our own and who pushes our buttons.

You know who I’m talking about – the sort of person who rarely listens to others’ opinions but is always pushing their agenda, who doesn’t pitch in but still expects to get their own way, and who is loud, aggressive,discourteous or constantly negative

The key to managing difficult personalities is to become familiar with common behaviours and personality types. Once you understand why people act in a certain way, you can better understand how to work with them. High performing organisations readily embrace a culture of giving and receiving feedback – after all, it can take a village to onboard and develop teams, and a gentle reminder of expected behaviour never goes astray. But ultimately, you can’t change others, only how you deal with them, which is vital to ensure a challenging colleague doesn’t impact how you feel about your job.

There are four common behaviours we see in the workplace:

1. Dominant-controlling

D-C personalities can be fast-acting, outgoing, bold and assertive. They like challenges but can get impatient, aggressive, demanding, challenging and power hungry. They can be bullies and insensitive to others’ feelings. While D-Cs can be helpful when you need to make a tough decision, they can be motivated by getting people to do what they want, their way, which can make them difficult to work with and, when challenged – even mildly – they find it hard to manage their anger and aggression.

Working with them:

It’s hard to work with Dominant-Controlling personalities. They continually make demands and dictate orders. It often feels demeaning and you can fear them, have an urge to fight them or dislike yourself for giving in to them. But if you approach them in the right way, things can work out.

To work best with a dominant-controlling person, you need to think like one. Get to the point and stick to the topic – avoid small-talk or vague expressions. Be brief, direct and respectful, back up your position with evidence and refuse to bend.

2. Analytical-obsessive

These personalities are methodical, logical and detail-oriented. They like perfection but their focus on doing things the right way can come across as nit-picky. A-Os take pride in high standards and are systematic in their approach to problems and projects. These are not bad qualities but they can be inflexible, and stand in the way of innovation. When they feel criticised, they avoid the issue, demonstrating their distaste of confrontation and argument.

Working with them:

There is a great need for people like these in business, but when you’re trying something new you need to approach them with caution. Firstly, acknowledge their work and their concerns without being critical or argumentative. Address their apprehensions then use logical language to map the path forward.

3. Expressive-impulsive

Expressive-impulsive people are enthusiastic, people-oriented, optimistic and social but can also be self-centred, reactive and charged up, seen as highly strung and pushy. They rarely think of consequences and refuse to take responsibility when things go wrong.

Wanting to be recognised for their work is a hallmark of E-I personality types but they concentrate solely on their own opinions and the big picture, and ignore inconvenient details.

Working with them:

E-Is bring creativity and energy but are not always the best listeners and don’t like being confined or controlled. They can be hard to work with sometimes but there are strategies you can use. Rather than trying to control them, make an effort to build a rapport. Let them know you appreciate their energy and ideas then give them tasks that require them to organise their ideas – challenging them to plan properly will be necessary to get them to focus.

4. Skeptical-negative

The S-N’s glass is always half empty, which can wear colleagues down because their pessimistic, suspicious nature promotes poor morale in the workplace. Not only is it annoying when someone is always complaining, but worst of all their negative attitude impacts other people. They think nothing of bad mouthing decisions and blame factors other than themselves for the ills of the world.

Working with them:

When you have to work with consistently negative people it’s good to have some strategies so you can deal with it head on. Firstly, support them by hearing them but don’t buy into their negative behaviour. Focus on how they might do things differently to prevent them drifting into negativity.

The goal of adapting your behaviour to different situations is not to change who you are, but to help you recognise your own role in difficult interactions.  You can’t make other people less difficult so your challenge every day is to deal more effectively with the difficult people you meet. Next time you’re involved in a touchy interaction with a difficult colleague, take a moment before you say anything. Consider their approximate personality type and formulate an appropriate response without letting emotions get the better of you.

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About the author

Kath Greenhough is the Senior Manager of Customer Success Organisation at e-learning provider Skillsoft (Asia pacific).

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10 Tips For Entrepreneurial Success From Women, For Women

(BPT) - More women than ever are entrepreneurs. However, while women continue to make strides in business ownership, the path to success is still significantly more difficult for women than men. A recent study reports that female entrepreneurs receive only about two per cent of all funding, despite owning 38 per cent of the businesses in the country (Harvard Business Review).

#"The culinary industry is dominated by men, but I have never let that get in the way of my success," says Leticia Skai Young, owner of LoLo's Seafood Shack in the Harlem neighbourhood of New York City. "Don't worry about being a woman, worry about being a leader. Focus on being your best self."

#To inspire the next generation of business owners, Young partnered with the Stacy's Rise Project, an initiative from Stacy's Snacks that helps women shatter the glass ceiling in the highest ranks of the culinary industry. Young hopes her tips will help other women who aspire to own their own business:

1. #Don't let your gender hold you back. "Being a woman is a business advantage," says Young. "Many women are excellent multi-taskers and natural leaders, who are community-minded and want others to share in our success." All are positive attributes of any successful business owner. "Ultimately, your attitude and work ethic matter far more than your gender."
2. #Identify your niche. Don't be a "Jane of all trades, master of none." Find a niche for your skill set and make it your own. LoLo's Seafood Shack serves a mixture of coastal comfort foods and Caribbean street food, drawing upon the heritage of Young and her husband, who is the executive chef. The unique combination helps set LoLo's apart in the crowded New York restaurant scene.
3. #Every day is an opportunity to learn. At the beginning of her culinary career, Young invested in specialised training at the International Culinary Center's Culinary Entrepreneurship programme. Today, she's taking free business courses through a community education programme. "I knew I had a lot to learn about the business side of things," said Young. "So, I got the help that I needed to get ahead. No matter your time and budget, there are opportunities to learn, grow and improve."
4. #Find a mentor. Mentorship is critical to success, with women in mentorship programmes garnering more promotions, higher salaries and more career satisfaction overall. But it can be challenging for women to find a female mentor. If needed, search beyond where you work, or look for someone who is where you aspire to be in 10 years.
5. #Get practical experience. "A mentor once told me that before I opened my own restaurant, I should open three restaurants for someone else," said Young. "Higher education helps immensely, because you understand the strategy and theory behind your work. But when you encounter a business challenge, nothing beats having past experiences to draw from."
6. #Ask for help. Many women try to do it all, often sacrificing their own health or happiness in order to complete the task at hand. "Asking for help does not mean you're incapable. It's an indication of strong leadership and self awareness - two excellent qualities in an entrepreneur," says Young.
7. #Be your own advocate. When you've proven you have the skills to do the job, stand up for yourself and say so. Confidence is a valuable business asset. When you believe in yourself, others will sense it and be more inclined to believe in you, too.
8. #Find your own work/life balance. No one can tell you what type of balance is right for you. Find what works for you and focus on the mix of professional and personal time that allows you to be best satisfied at home and at work.
9. #Don't forget to have fun. You can work hard, produce a good product and still have fun. When you are a positive influence on the people around you, you elevate the entire team - people who feel encouraged and appreciated will take pride in what they're doing and become not only employees, but also ambassadors.
10. #Share your success. Stories of women who have succeeded help encourage those who are still striving to accomplish similar success. "Don't be afraid to speak proudly about yourself and what you have accomplished, you never know who is listening - and who your story will inspire," says Young.

#To learn more about Stacy's Rise Project and opportunities to advance your entrepreneurial dreams, visit stacyssnacks.com/riseproject.

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